So I did it last night. I gave myself a shot in the stomach. All I can say is that I hope there is some margin of error built-in there because I’m not entirely sure I did it right.
As soon as I pulled out the syringe and uncapped it, it was dribbling precious ovalatory goodness out the tip. I flicked it a couple of times for and the only thing I accomplished was knocking more liquid out of the syringe. It looked like there was a little half air bubble down towards the plunger end, but it wasn’t budging with the flicking, so I let it go. I pushed all the air at the top out, trying not to let any more of the drug escape.
I grabbed a handful of my alcohol swabbed gut and press the needle to my skin, panicking some more as more liquid dripped out of the tip. Now was the moment of truth; did I have the guts to press it in? I took a deep breath and pressed forward. The sensation of it piercing my skin was the wierdest thing, like sticking a toothpick into a grape with a really tough skin.
Then I was stuck…was I supposed to push it in all the way to the hilt? Was I supposed to let go of the handful of skin I was pinching? The helpful picture instructions were laying on the closed toilet lid…wrong side up. All the critical info I needed was on the second side. I didn’t have a free hand to turn it over, so I pushed the needle all the way in and held on, compromising by loosening the pinch. It stung a bit as I pushed the drugs in, but not terribly and it was all over in a matter of seconds.
Then I had to worry about pulling it out. Have you every used one of those marinade injectors on a turkey, and had marinade come shooting back out the hole when you removed the tip? That’s what I was worried about. Luckily, there just seemed to be a little dribble from the insertion and no blood at all from the stick.
Now I was free to obsess about all the ways I did it wrong. Hmmm, that spot is more than an inch away from my belly button, what if it’s too far away? Did I get it all in there? Did I screw it up by not having the needle all the way in from the beginnning? And hey, if I just injected an air bubble, how would I know it was about to go to my heart and kill me?
I pulled out the drug info and warnings sheet from the drug box and skimmed it for helpful info. Several places, it mentioned pulmonary risks and kept saying to see that section in the warnings. I kept skimming frantically, until I finally found the section. And it was one whole sentence that said something like “May cause something thrombosis.” That’s it. No helpful info on how to avoid it, what symptoms to look for, what to do, etc. I guess if that’s going to happen you’re just a goner? Happily, I did learn that other side effects I could anticipate were extreme flatulence and explosive diareah. Whee!
I thought about how sad it would be for Miguel if I were to have pulmonary embolism or whatever and die on my sleep. Today’s his birthday, what if he woke up expecting a birthday kiss and I was dead or in a coma, rendered a vegetable forever? I thought about leaving him a note, just in case. This is how my mind works. I consider it a triumph that I only laid awake for about 20 minutes obsessing over worst case scenarios before I fell asleep.
Obviously, I woke up just fine this morning. Not even any excess gas. So, here’s hoping the drugs are doing what they’re supposed to and we’re all set for tomorrow.