Books Unread, Jokes Untold-the pursuit of life

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It’s called “Staggering,” people September 10, 2007

Filed under: Battle of the Scale — booksunread @ 12:26 pm

Is it not commonly accepted gym etiquette that you do not walk into a classroom and position yourself directly in front of someone who was there before you?  Are people that clueless?  This makes me freaking crazy and I’m running into it with increasing frequency at new gym.

At old gym, this would happen occasionally, but class sizes were such that I could pick up my step or mat, and move it huffily a foot or so to the right or left, with some pointed dirty looks.  If the offender noticed and apologized, I’d fakely wave them off all “Oh, that’s okay, I just like to be able to see the mirror,” like I’m the weird one with the problem and it was totally okay to just move over. Which it WASN’T, because I was perfectly positioned under a fan and not on a crack in the mirror.  (What? If you’re on a crack then you look all fun house and split in half.)

At new gym, there is no respect for personal space.  Part of it, I guess, is because classes are so full, but still, it is possible to evenly space yourselves in a full classroom, all it takes is a little common courtesy for the people around you.  At both classes I took this weekend, kick boxing and yoga, I ended up wanting to do physical harm to a classmate.  At kickboxing, this woman migrated from the back row, until she was breathing down my fucking neck, less than a foot away from me.  Back the fuck up, lady. I know I haven’t moved; I’m still lined up on the same mirror panel in the front, and with the same equipment pile on the side.  Scoot back into that big empty space you left back there before I purposely aim my next back kick at you.  And also, she was all flaily and sucky and couldn’t stay on the beat, which is very distracting to have in your peripheral vision.

At Sunday’s yoga class, a woman came and plopped her mat down directly in front of mine.  I was like, “Come. On. Bitch. I am here to relax and now all I can think about is drilling hate lasers into the back of your stupid, in my way, head.” I already had people on my left and right, and it was physically impossible for me to move my mat more than an inch or so to either side.  Which I tried to do, hoping this lady would take the hint, as she was clear on both sides, and scoot, but no dice. She steadfastly ignored me.  I don’t know, maybe I was in her usual spot. This is the first time I’d gone to the Sunday class.  But you know what, if you’re going to be a spot nazi and get all pissed off is someone takes your spot? Get there earlier, so no one can beat you to it. God.



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