Books Unread, Jokes Untold-the pursuit of life

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Ho Ho…blah December 17, 2007

Filed under: Daily Grind — booksunread @ 1:58 pm

I am so having a hard time with the Christmas spirit this year.  It doesn’t help that this year Miguel is over the moon about Christmas (he’s always been a huge fan of the holiday, but this year when he loves his job and is excited about the baby, he is borderline annoying).  But it’s hard for me to live up to that level of enthusiasm when I feel like something that is stuck to the bottom of his shoe.

Back in the day, when we were still trying to get pregnant, I promised myself that if/when we got pregnant, I would not complain about the process of being pregnant at all.  Nay! I would welcome each barfy morning with a smile and song because, after all, this is what I wanted so bad. 

But man, do I feel like hammered shit most days.  Unfortunately, I’ve never been a good barfer, so I’ve not had any actual barfing yet.  Which, if I did barf, maybe I could get it out of my system and feel better.  Instead, I have this gross, acid-y gassy feeling riding around with me all day, from morning to night.  It’s like a huge bubble is trapped between my stomach and my throat and it is going neither up nor down.

The one safe remedy I thought I’d found, now that my beloved alka seltzer is on the no no list (it’s like Drano, for your stomach!-TM Salsera) was shot down by the nurse midwife last week.  I thought, surely if alka seltzer is out because it contains aspirin, then regular plain old baking soda should be just fine.  It has the similar effect of going down there and breaking up the huge bubble of misery compressing your diaphragm.  A couple of huge belches later and you feel like a person again.

Unfortunately, the NMW shook her head and gravely pronounced “too much sodium,” when I revealed my stroke of brilliance.  She suggested an Rx for Ranitidine instead.  I don’t really understand how taking a synthetic Rx on a daily basis could possibly be better for me than occasionally ingesting extra salt as I treat symptoms only when I need it…I’m seeing the other NMW this week and I’m going to ask her that very question.  Because I tossed and turned for an hour and a half after lights out last night, praying for a giant burp or fart to come along and relieve some of the pressure building up in my stomach.

So, when I’m feeling all crappy like that, I’m not very much in the mood to make merry…or even be very nice.  I was rather cranky pants this weekend as I tried to get my holiday baking and the rest of my gift shopping and wrapping done.  Friday night, I went to Kohl’s to get the nieces and nephews done. And spent over 30 minutes just standing in line.  Then I went to Kroger where the fuckers were out of three of the major key ingredients I needed.  Who runs out of confectioner’s sugar the week before Christmas?  Ditto the Drug Mart I stopped at on my way home.  There must have been some crazy run on confectioner’s sugar. Maybe people were stocking up for the snow storm? Bread, milk, powdered sugar, check.

The entire weekend was like that.  No single store had everything I planned to pick up that trip. I always had to make another stop, and in two cases, the store I needed to go to WASN’T open on Sunday.  I even got foiled online shopping for the love of pete.  The Bed Bath and Beyond website crapped out on me, not once, but twice, as I was trying to place my order. 

I have one more gift to buy and wrap, then I can pack up and ship off Salsera’s box.  I have two more gifts to pick up for Miguel, and about a half dozen more still to wrap.  And oh yeah, I still have to do Christmas cards.  I am planning to send them out late anyway, because I’m going to use the opportunity to tell the extended friends and family about le bebe. And obviously I couldn’t mail those out until we’ve told our immediate family.  However, the thought of writing out all those cards makes the baby jesus cry.  I’m considering pasting a typewritten message re: the baby into the inside of each card, in lieu of the same handwritten note over and over again…is that wrong?


2 Responses to “Ho Ho…blah”

  1. Salsera Says:

    its not wrong, why dont you just wait and do happy new year cards or baby announcements! then everyone will be pleasantly surpised to get something after the rush is over.

  2. RD Says:

    This poem is too good…
    Thanx for putting it out here.. was searching for it…

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