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Poo Flinging Monkeys January 9, 2008

Filed under: Daily Grind — booksunread @ 1:17 pm

I have had it with my work bathroom.  In our new office building we share a common bathroom with half the floor who also rent office suites here. I don’t know what is wrong with the other companies, but they employ some gross, disgusting animals. (We never had this problem at the old building, where it was just us, so I know it’s not my coworkers.)

Yesterday, THREE of the four stalls were shitted out-one held the remains of a case of explosive diarrhea, one someone’s streaked used toilet paper, and the last a great set of skid marks on the bowl.  It is like a pack of rapid poo flinging monkeys had invaded the place.

This is not by any means a rare occurrence, there are always leftovers, ass-gaskets on the seats, pee sprinkles/floods, and various other grossnesses in our bathroom.  This is however, the first time we’ve managed the impressive record of rendering 3 for 4 stalls unusable.  It is worse than a dirty frat house up in there, and it is an all woman’s bathroom.

There are usually two schools of thought on this:  the “I would let it back up until I choked on my own poop before I went at work” camp, and the “eh, you gotta go, you gotta go” camp.  I fall into the latter camp.  If you’re not a regular person, you take your poops where you can get them (especially in pregnancy).  The best you can do in a public environment is to do it as discretely, considerately and quickly as possible. 

So it’s not the pooping per se that offends me, it’s the aftermath that these people seem to be incapable of taking care of.  I know some people even less prude than me about this must be rolling their eyes and thinking “So just flush the toilet yourself already and be done with it,” but I like a fresh bowl.  Being confronted with someone else’s pee or shit and having to flush a public toilet containing it myself gives me the willies. Especially if like me, you’ve read about and believe that toilets can spray germs up to 20 feet (And yes, I realize that I will be up to my elbows in baby shit coming up here, but you know, at least I’ll kinda know where that’s been.)

How hard is it to take 10 seconds after the flush to make sure your massive production has all gone down as it should?  What kind of a pig do you have to be to think it’s okay to leave your poop for someone else to deal with?  I’m seriously considering putting up a nasty sign on bathroom etiquette along with instructions of how to manually flush the automatic toilets a second time if needed.

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2 Responses to “Poo Flinging Monkeys”

  1. maybelle76 Says:

    Althought I was gagging slightly at all your descriptions, I was also laughing! My office bathroom is very similar as well and I’m always complaining that people need to make sure all has been flushed before leaving the stall!!! A coworker and I send out PSA’s to each other should we run into a particularly disgusting stall.

  2. booksunread Says:

    I WISH I had a coworker I could PSA with! As it is, I usually now hike to the bathroom at the front of the building; it seems to get less traffic.
    Other massive breaches of bathroom ettiquette:
    –Taking the stall directly NEXT to the one someone is in, even when the rest of the row is unoccupied. Buffer Zone, people!
    –Not giving someone washing their hands on the way out 10 seconds to finish up and get the hell out of dodge before you plop yourself down and unleash a symphony of farts. Dude, take your time unbuttoning your pants, prepare your tp, stall a few seconds for god’s sake. I saw you go in there and I KNOW who you are!


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