Today’s post will be dedicated to my bitter McDonalds rant. So this week, the news broke all over about how MickeyDs was adding barristas and frabulous coffee drinks in order to try and steal Starbucks business.
Coincidentally yesterday, the warm weather really made “the baby” crave a Mickey D’s iced coffee (decaf, of course). I made sure to get out of the house a few minutes early to accommodate the pit stop without being late. Now I had been visiting the golden arches frequently over the summer, when I was avoiding caffeine but not religiously, and I could swear that getting a decaf iced was not a problem then.
Today however, I was told no dice, no decaf on the iced. Wah. I contemplated for a second and decided my already delicate system could not take the hollow stomach and shakes provoked by a sudden a.m. caffeine injection after being off it for so long. A decaf hot coffee was out of the question; I could make myself a cup of that for free at work. As I squealed away shaking my fist I muttered “Good luck competing with Starbucks, can’t-even-make-a-decaf-iced-coffee-fuckers!”
From here, my options were somewhat limited. I’d already passed way back by the house the local coffee store where a decaf iced could be had, and neither of the two Starbucks still in my path have a drive thru (WTF is up with that? One of them is brand new, too). Plus, I did not want to pay $4 for a simple iced coffee, and I find their coffee to be on the strong side.
The only logical solution? Drive miles out of my way to Dunkin Donuts where I know for certain a decaf iced coffee is not a problem (before we moved to this building and got the coffee machine, I had a serious DD habit). All the while, I’m chanting to myself, “Baby doesn’t need a jelly donut. Baby doesn’t need a jelly donut.” But then I looked at the clock and realized I was going to be strolling in at least 15 minutes late with my iced coffee, and decided I’d better have something to contribute to the greater good. So the 50 pack of assorted munchkins got added to the order. And then, the words “jelly donut” came tumbling out of my mouth as well.
The donut was gone before I made it back to work. So sugary, so wrong, yet so tasty with the refreshing iced coffee! And then my healthful, nutritious whole grain, egg and fauxage patty sandwich did not look appealing. At all. Know what did look appealing? Munchkins. Three of those and the healthy breakfast went into the garbage untouched.
By 10, I was feeling the first starts of some sort of system crash. Either my beloved DD screwed up my order and floated me a regular instead of decaf, or my body was protesting the total lack of nourishment and commencing a sugar crash.
Either way, totally McDonald’s fault.