Books Unread, Jokes Untold-the pursuit of life

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Mr. Salty January 16, 2008

Filed under: Daily Grind — booksunread @ 1:32 pm

For as far back as I can remember, I have been a side sleeper, curling up happily into the fetal position, a pillow hugged in my arms.  As I moved into my mid-to-late twenties, however, regular acid reflux caught up with me, and I discovered that it gave me some relief to have my tummy pressing against the mattress. 

Unfortunately, I do not understand the mechanics of stomach sleeping.  Where do you put your face? How do you breathe?  It hurts to turn only your head to one side or the other for any length of time, and even then, there is still pillow all up in your face, threatening to smother you as you sleep.  And also, my boobs are kind of in the way.  I think the only way I could accomplish being a stomach sleeper is if I slept on a massage table, with a little cut out to stick my face in, and maybe a little fan circulating a fresh flow of air. (Wee bit claustrophobic there…can’t even sleep with a sheet near my mouth/nose.)

So instead, my sleeping style has morphed into some weird hybrid of stomach and side sleeping.  My head, neck, and shoulders are all side sleepers.  From about the chest down, my torso and legs are stomach sleepers.  On paper, this sounds about as comfortable as trying to sleep on a bed of nails, yet somehow this contortionist position has become the only way I can sleep.  I know it can’t be good for my neck and shoulders (as evidenced by the continual tension and pain I carry there), but I can’t seem to break the habit and go back to the side sleeping. 

While I occasionally enjoy sleeping on my back, this is out as it intensifies the small problem I have with snoring (and also, when you’re pregnant, it will kill the baby or something).  I won’t be able to sleep on my stomach much longer now anyway, so it’s not like I’ll have a choice on the side sleeping; I guess I’ll just get used to it. 

But seriously, how DO people sleep on their stomachs?

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