Books Unread, Jokes Untold-the pursuit of life

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Ear Muffs March 26, 2008

Filed under: Daily Grind — booksunread @ 7:08 pm

I have a very short easy commute to work. I basically take the road that runs directly behind my house about 6 miles to the street my office is on.  The only problem is that it’s pretty much a residential street and only one lane each way, so if you get stuck behind someone taking a Sunday drive, you’re pretty much screwed.  There are medians and double yellows the whole way down, so no passing either.

This week, I was looking forward to smooth sailing as the schools are out for spring break which always reduces the traffic.  Yet somehow yesterday morning, I got stuck behind the ONE car that wanted to go 10 miles below the speed limit the whole way.  And unfortunately, I was 3 or 4 cars back from the slowpoke so all I could do was simmer back there in impotent rage.  You can bet if I had been directly behind the offender I would have gone all road rage on his/her ass, flashing brights, honking and a little close following.  Sure, it probably pisses them off and makes them drive slower, but at least I feel better about it.  Instead, I got to curse and mutter alone in my car, which was not nearly as satisfying.

Nothing makes me lose my mind more quickly than someone who refuses to drive at least the posted speed limit on a road where there is no passing.  I’m not asking people to speed, risking their lives or getting a ticket.  Just go as fast as Johnny Law has given you permission to for god’s sake. If you can’t do that, because you’re a timid old person or otherwise afraid of the accelerator, you shouldn’t have a license.  The best gift anyone could possibly give me would be an LED sign for the front of my car, where I could flash “The speed limit here is 45!” at slow moving drivers.  With an optional, “asshole” ending for special circumstances.

As karmic payback for the private shit fit I threw yesterday morning on the way to work, on the way back I got stuck behind someone driving fully FIFTEEN miles under the posted speed limit.  Apparently, there was one car following another, yet he was going so slowly that he was fully 2 blocks behind the lead car.  Big surprise when he got cut off by a red light and the lead car had to pull over and wait.  This time, even though I was a few cars back, I did employ my horn, because, seriously FIF.TEEN. mph under the speed limit. Unacceptable.  Of course, I was cursing and muttering the whole way as well.

Last night, I read that WB can now hear what’s going on outside the womb.  At this rate, he’s going to come out cursing like a sailor.  Maybe I can get him some wee little ear muffs.


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