Books Unread, Jokes Untold-the pursuit of life

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Batten Down the Hatches March 27, 2008

Filed under: ?Baby? — booksunread @ 7:43 pm

Now that the pants situation has been resolved with the addition of a couple more hemmed pairs and the approach of the weather when I can wear the many capris I’ve inherited, we are now running into a problem with the tops.  The lovely and generous ladies who lent me their maternity wardrobes are not what one would consider well-endowed pre-pregnancy.  More like in the A-B range to my usual C-D cups. 

I am closing in on DOUBLE D territory here; their scoop neck, v-neck, and faux wrap tops are beginning to look downright pornographic.  Layering over a tank is not working as most of the tanks just barely contain the girls, they still reveal quite a meaty swath of cleavage. The past couple days, I’ve found myself absolutely mesmerized by the the reflection of rippling chest-flesh jiggling in the bathroom mirror as I wash my hands.  I’m wondering if that’s the free show everybody is getting every time I move. Maybe that’s why my younger, male employee doesn’t look me in the eye.

I’m “petite” so it’s a shorter than average distance between my shoulder and the shelf of my boobs, the straps on regular camis are just too long.  What I need are some boat-neck tanks that come up more in the region of my collar bone.  Of course, target and old navy only have ho-clothes for little A cup tweeny boppers so I’m SOL on a cheap fix. The maternity camis all have the same strap problem. Hello, maternity clothes designers, some of us are short, AND have big boobs. 

Today I’m stuffed into the highest necked of my regular medium camis and I feel like I’m going to blow at any minute.

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