So we’ve tentatively agreed on a first name for the baby and are working on a middle name. In some ways, NOT having any religious, family or cultural naming traditions to guide us has made it hard as its left the field wide open. I read through four baby name books to get ideas and compiled a list of nearly 50 names that I was willing to consider.
Right off the bat, Miguel shot down my two favorites-Grayson and Jackson. I thought the nickname “Gray” would appeal to his desire for a kinda stubble chinned rebel stud-type name that you would find in a Harlequin novel, as evidenced by his love for “Duke” and “Dallas,” but no dice. Luckily he also quickly spotted the ringers I’d slipped in there for fun-Balzac (say it out loud, I am 12), Geronimo and the name of one of my ex’s that to this day Miguel is still upset to be sloppy seconds to (even tho I only ever made out with that guy).
Now that we’re kinda, sorta, maybe agreed, I find myself second guessing. I mean, this is a big decision. Whatever we choose, wee baby is going to be saddled with it the rest of his life…this could make or break him on the playground.
I think I was scarred by a SNL skit I saw years ago. A pregnant woman and her husband were going through a list of names, and at every suggestion she made, he would find a way to make it into something the kids could turn against him. Then the doorbell rings and the FedEx guy says “I’ve got a delivery for Mr. Asswipe Johnson.” Snatching it out of his hands, the husband replies “That’s As-wee-pay.” I always thought the skit was hilarious, but now, not so much.
Having grown up with a last name that rhymes with “toilet,” I want to shield wee baby from any potential name related taunting. Although, as Miguel pointed out, kids are cruel, and if they’re really determined, they will find a way to make fun of any name, or find another way to pick on him, if they really want to. (They better not; I don’t want to have to go down to his school and stomp a first grader!)
Plus, what if wee baby gets here and he just doesn’t look like the name we’ve picked? I’m thinking maybe we need a backup just in case. I’m also a little uncomfortable settling so early as it gives the world’s worst secret keeper (Miguel) too much time to spill the beans. I’ve already threatened him, if I find out he told even ONE person, all bets are off, the name is off the table and he loses any say in picking the name. This is non-negotiable. I don’t know why I feel so strongly, but since the sex isn’t a secret, I want this to be a surprise. I also don’t want our choice tainted by anyone’s 2 cents about what we’ve picked. People will be much less likely to voice negative opinions once it’s a done deal.
Now we just have to decide on a middle name that fits and doesn’t spell anything dirty in his initials.