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Spoke too Soon September 25, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — booksunread @ 9:27 pm

So right about the second I hit “publish” on that last post on Monday, the Squidge decided that eating sucked again.  Things went downhill into Tuesday where we reached the point we’d been at when we took him to the hospital; I could barely get him to take a feeding all day.  We went back to the pediatrician’s that afternoon and discovered he hasn’t gained an ounce since his 2-month visit last Friday.  This is not good. He’s supposed to be gaining an ounce a day.

The pediatrician was basically out of ideas and ready to refer us to a GI specialist.  First, they sent us off for an x-ray of his stomach to make sure there weren’t any blockages, masses or anything going on there.  There weren’t.  In a way, I was almost disapointed; if they’d found something, at least it would be a concrete answer.  Instead, we got set up with an GI appointment on Wednesday.  But that doctor wanted to repeat the airway x-ray that had been done in the hospital last time.  So I went back to the outpatient services center for the second time in one day.  And got to hold my screaming child down on a cold metal table for an x-ray.  This time, we had the added bonus of the x-ray requiring poor squidgy’s head to be wrapped in a towel and stretched back AND the x-ray tech hit me right b/t the eyes with the film plate and stand and almost knocked me out.  Tuesday was not a great day.

Wednesday, Squidge was eating a bit less reluctantly and we drove to bofu to see the GI specialist. Squidgy screamed the whole way there.  After waiting for an hour past our “appointment” “time” we were seen by two doctors who poked and prodded Squidge but didn’t find anything amiss.  Their best guess was that perhaps he had an inflamation in his digestive track caused by an allergy to milk or soy that would get inflamed/heal a bit depending on the amount of milk and soy in my diet.  By this time it was time for Squidge to eat so I nursed him semi-successfully and they sent in a dietician to talk to me about cleaning out my diet.  Basically, I can have fresh fruits and veggies and meat that’s about it.  Almost every processed food has milk solids or soy in it-luncheon meat, bread, crackers, etc.  Oh, and it might take up to two weeks to see a difference. 

Of course the easiest thing to do would be to take him off breast milk and put him on a hypo-allergenic formula.  But since he won’t take a bottle still, that option is kind of off the table.  We could cut the breast cold turkey, and only offer the bottle until he gets hungry enough to take it, but we don’t want him to lose any more weight.  And the dietician basically made me feel like only Satan would put a baby through that stress.  Oh and also, that special formula? Is $50 a can.

Basically, they don’t even know if this will fix things.  This is what it has been like all along.  Try this and see if it works, if it does, we’ll know it was ear infection/reflux/allergy.  If it doesn’t, try something else and see if that works.  I don’t understand how they can’t definitively diagnose a milk or soy allergy; they can test people and confirm other allergies. (Just talked to the nurse who said that they can, but the test is not definitive in wee infants.)

On top of all of this, they also want to do a visual swallow test were they basically x-ray him eating.  And that couldn’t be scheduled until next Thursday.  And also, good luck with that, since I don’t know how they’re going to get him to swallow anything what with the whole not taking a bottle thing.  So it will be at least a week, maybe two, before we hear anything.  Of me approaching every feeding with dread, wondering if he’s going to calmly latch on and eat, or need to be soothed and cajoled on to my breast, or reject it outright and refuse to eat for hours.  I’ve also got to start pumping up a store of fresh, hopefully allergan-free breastmilk for my parents to try to bottle-feed him next week while I’m at work.  And worry that he will not take the bottle from them and just starve the two feedings I’m away. 

Just to fuck things up some more, he had to get his 2-month old immunizations today.  We’d already put them off a week, trying to avoid messing up his feedings, and he had to get them.  And he’s acted like my boobs were made of fire ever since.  He’s fussy and will barely take my left breast for 7 minutes, my right breast he will not have anything to do with.  Nor has he wanted to be put down.  All day, I’ve thought he’s been sound asleep, but the second I made a move to put him down, he’s scrunches up his face and starts howling.  I finally got smart around 4 and gave him some Tylenol and he’s been sleeping quietly in his swing for the last hour. 

To top off this entire tale of woe, Miguel is on an overnight trip tonight.  Not that he is much help at calming a fussy Squidgey, nor can he feed him, but at least he fetches things, and takes care of the dog and makes me dinner and stuff.

This is my last week home with Squidgey and it has turned into one of the most miserable ones yet.  I am miserable. I’m worried and stressed out and a sniffly, crying mess most of the time.  Well, gotta go see if Squidgey will deign to suckle at my breast now.


4 Responses to “Spoke too Soon”

  1. TwinMommy Says:

    Sounds like you’re writing about one of my babies! First of all I had to cut soy & milk out when they were 1/2 month old and that only worked for one. The other got to try every special formula on the market before settling on Nutramigen AA which is $65 per can. Luckily around month 5 insurance started to cover it. We did all of the tests you mentioned including the swallow x-ray thing and I also got bonked in the head but not too hard.

    We’ve had an awesome week too! My hubby and both babies had colds so lots of sleepless nights. I went to the ER two nights for severe mastitis and today one of our dogs had a seizure and had to be rushed to the vet er. Now I’m trying to stop pumping now and it HURTS like hell…Thank God tomorrow starts a new week.

  2. booksunread Says:

    Seriously, you are a saint for keeping up with the pumping for this long with all of that. I am so over breastfeeding I can’t even tell you. My new diet is suddenly causing poor squidgy to be insanely gassy. He screams like his hair is on fire 40 or minutes or so after every feeding. I’m not eating brocoli or cabbage or any other very gassy vegetables so I don’t know what is causing it. Nor do I know what else I could cut out of my diet and still be able to get enough nutrients to even make milk.

    My parents have gotten him to take a bottle now, and if the gas doesn’t stop in the next day or so, I’m switching to formula. I was trying to ride it out for the whole two week elimination period so that we could say for sure yes or no it’s the allergy and not breast vs. bottle, and possibly avoid putting him on the insanely $$ formula. I was willing to do the stupid eating for two weeks, but it is ridiculous to have him that uncomfortable for two weeks.

    Even if it’s not an allergy and I can go back to eating regularly and breastfeeding I’m not interested. I hate the night sweats, the pumping when he doesn’t take a full feeding to keep up my supply, the wondering if it was something I ate when he is mad. I think he will do better with the unchanging consistency of formula.

  3. citystreams Says:

    Wow! I’m super impressed that you’ve stuck to breast feeding for so long. You’re obviously an awesome mom!

  4. booksunread Says:

    Are you talking to me or Twin Mommy? I haven’t actually been at the breastfeeding that long; my original goal was 6 months, but now I’m shooting to get to the end of 3.

    Once we got going, up until all these problems started (so weeks 2 through 6), the breastfeeding wasn’t all that bad. I never really got crazy sore nipples or anything and it was very convenient with no bottles to wash or anything. I was pumping just once a day to have some backup in the freezer. (That backup all went in the garbage after the 3 day power outage, which is just as well, I guess since it was all poisoned with soy and milk.)

    Now though, I’m pumping and washing bottes and pump attachments 2-3 times a day and always struggling with whether I should pump again when he doesn’t take a full feeding…for example, last night he got up early for his middle of the night feeding, so I was pretty full by this morning, but he only took an averaged sized feeding and I still feel full. But then I’d have to unpack all the pump stuff that is ready to go to work, wash the attachments and pack them back up all wet. And be 20 mins behind schedule because of it. In the end, I decided to do my next scheduled pumping half an hour earlier, rather than pump an extra time. It’s just a lot of extra steps to juggle, instead of being more convenient…

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