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Letting Go October 22, 2008

Filed under: Schmooper — booksunread @ 5:25 pm

Last night, I finally gave in and let Miguel take the night shift.  I’ve been resisting because I’ve assumed that Squidgy would be unhappy to see him instead of me, leading to crying, which Miguel would deal with by letting him cry more than I think he should and not making as concerted an effort as I would to get all of his bottle down.

But, I’m exhausted from not sleeping a solid night in 3 months and now sick with a cold, probably because I am exhausted and I can’t keep up this pace until Squidge decides he’s ready to sleep through the night.  They are just going to have to figure it out.

So last night, after I got him through fussy time (not as bad yesterday-knock wood) and to sleep at 8, I relocated myself to our bedroom instead of the guest room across the jack n jill bath from squidge.  Miguel took the monitor out, I closed the doors, turned the fan on high for maximum crying drowning-out power and promised not to get up unless Miguel came and got me.  Oh, and I also took a couple of Tylenol PMs to help me resist any urges I might have had to get up.

Like so many other things, I created this worrisome potential scenario in my head for naught.  Squidge could not have cared less that it was daddy in there in the middle of the night; the only fussing he did was when Miguel tried to get him to take more of the bottle than he apparently wanted.  When that stopped, he was quickly back to sleep. 

I’m not really happy that he only took two oz at his 11:30 feeding; usually I can get him to take all four, but what are you going to do?  His eating is still a problem in terms of him getting as much per day as he should be because he’s not always taking full feedings.  For a while after he finally accepted the formula, if he didn’t want any more, he would do so very good naturedly.  A “no thanks, I’m full” pushing of the nipple out with a sly grin up at you.  Now, he’s back to arching away and screaming after the first couple ounces.

At this point though, I have to stop making us both crazy over it. If he doesn’t want to eat, you can’t really make him. I don’t want feeding to become something contentious and cause him to reject feeding altogether.  When he stops mid-bottle and won’t start up again after burping, I’ll try changing his diaper, playing for a bit, or soothing to almost sleep and trying again.  But if he starts fussing, I stop. 

He had a visit with his pediatrician Monday and has gained a pound and a half in the last month, so that is very good.  But still, it’s worrisome that he did well for a while on the formula and then started trending back down.  We should be seeing him starting to take more as he gets older, and him still not hitting what he needed a month ago is not so good and means we could have another stutter in his weight gain and development.  Which is really what I’m worried about-not his weight, but that he has the nutrition needed to develop well mentally and physically. 

And also, it’s just not NORMAL that a baby reacts to a bottle like it is liquid fire and I want answers to fix it.  Part of it may be the zantac dose is now too light for his weight (if it is in fact helping-it does seem the two feedings after he gets his twice daily dose are the best), so we’re increasing it to see if it helps.  We go back to the GI specialist next week, and we’ll hopefully have some more encouraging news. 

So, in summary: yay-sleep! now Miguel and I can start splitting the nighttime burden more evenly; boo-feeding! how much longer can this possibly gone on before we get it figured out?


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