Continuing in his quest to kill me slowly with non-life threatening complications, Squidge is still refusing to have anything to do with solids. He had been eating rice cereal (with some breaks to accommodate the stomach bugs) since early January. We were to the point where he was opening up on his own and finishing it up without too much coaxing.
Then two weeks ago Saturday (the weekend that the not eating formula started, before the cold), I switched to oatmeal and he seemed to do fine for the first two days. Then on Monday the cold came and he absolutely refused to have anything to do with the cereal, turning his head away, batting at the spoon, and blocking it with his tongue the few times I could actually get it in there. Which, his sitter told me that just that morning when she was feeding the other baby, Squidge was opening his mouth. WTF? In the morning he’s eagerly inviting cereal into his mouth (although she didn’t give him any) and by evening he’d lost all interest.
Over the course of the week, his formula eating appetite came back, but solids still remained on his shit list. We tried the oatmeal a couple more times, we skipped some days as a break (for both of us), and when we started again, I reverted back to the rice cereal. Still no dice. In desperation, I even tried sweetening it with some sugar. Verdict? No thanks. I wanted to try him on some bananas, to see if it’s a cereal problem but Miguel came back with like the least ripe bananas in the whole store. So I’m waiting for them to ripen/sweeten up before I try them. (I’m not planning on feeding him jarred baby food.) In the meantime, I noticed at the drug store yesterday they had Gerber oatmeal mixed with bananas already, so I figured why not give it a try. Still no dice.
I am so fucking discouraged. I’m so tired of every little thing being such a fucking struggle. I’m so not looking forward to going back to the pediatrician on Monday for his 7 month weight check and having to tell him, “yeah, now I can’t get him to eat solids.” Like, can I get nothing right? He’s likely to be graduating from PT this week for his neck, but now it looks like we’ll be going for occupational therapy to get him to eat now.
I’m sure all this emotion is exacerbated by the fact that we are STILL not sleeping through the night. Compounded the last week or so by the fact he no longer just eats and passes out, he wants to be held for half an hour until he is deeply asleep before you can dump in back in his crib. With his cold, I’d been giving in, because letting him scream it out was going to do nothing but make his congestion worse. Now that it is over I tried to tough it out last night and not hold him to sleep. After feeding him at 3, I was in there off and on until 4:45, popping his binky in and/or pulling him out of the corner of the crib in which he’d wedged himself. I finally gave up and turned off the monitor, but Miguel gave in and went and rocked him back to sleep.
But other than all this bullshit, he is perfectly happy. And adorable.
I know that there are a ton of parents out there who would welcome a baby with Squidge’s health/developmental problems, compared to the serious complications they’re dealing with. But every one of these little things piled on top of each other feels like I’m being pecked to death by chickens. Angry chickens.