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Bits and Pieces July 27, 2009

Filed under: Schmooper — booksunread @ 1:24 pm

So you know what really drives me irrationally bugshit crazy about having a kid? Missing parts of toys and games.  Up until now, it’s been the ever shrinking supply of binkies.  Which, while annoying, at least made sense-they get taken out of the house, they get dropped, they get left behind. 

With the toys, it is a hundred times more frustrating.  It’s just so illogical.  I know those motherfuckers have not been out of the house, so where the fuck is the pink stacking cup?!?  And the other half of the train magnet?!?  Occasionally, the missing piece can be located in the ficus pot where Squidgey has tucked it for safekeeping as he runs by in his Elmo-mobile.  But that pink cup has been missing for weeks. I have looked everywhere. Did he eat it? Did he flush it down the toilet when I wasn’t looking? I DON’T KNOW and it bugs the shit out of me.

I realize, of course, that I am setting myself up for a lifetime of twisted panties, because, this is what kids do-they loose shit.  I just hope I can suppress my mommy dearest compulsions and not be all “Squidgey, until you find that missing red matchbox car, you are grounded!”

In other bits of annoyingness, after a couple month honeymoon of beatific nap and bedtimes, Squidge has entered the phase of “being a shitbag bastard,” as we like to call it at our house. 

He’s been, for the most part, a pretty good baby about going to bed.  Never one that required hours of rocking and then you grit your teeth as you put him down, praying he doesn’t wake up again.  Usually once he was out, he was out with a minimum of fuss. Finish bottle, cuddle in, close eyes, dead to the world in 5 minutes.  Sure, we’ve gone through some phases where he starting waking again and we had to do the cry it out, but the last couple months, after a couple minutes of rocking, he’s drowsy enough to put him down and he rolls over, grabs his blanket and puts himself to sleep. 

Just recently he’s started hanging out quietly so you think he’s asleep, then going into full throttle protest mode.  It started with naps and just got progressively worse.  At first, he’d just talk to himself and tap his binky against the crib bars like a wee little inmate for about half an hour or so before drifting off.  Now, after the initial quiet, he’s started tossing his blanky and binky overboard, then being all “WAHHHH need binky and blanky!!!!”  Then you go in there, pick up the stuff, and attempt to rock him, whereupon he starts laughing and trying to yank your nose off.  So you dump him back in the crib and leave until his cries become truly woeful.  Then you go back in and attempt to get him down because you know there is no way he’s going to sleep sans binky.  It’s now an HOUR since you put him down.  Saturday he didn’t actually fall asleep for his afternoon nap, which usually starts between 12:30 and 1, until 3:30!

And then the last two nights, he’s been pulling the same shit at bedtime.  I’m at the, “I’m done with this, he can cry it out, binky or no binky,” stage.  Both at naptimes and bedtime, Miguel has been giving in and going in to rock him.  I can already tell this is going to be one of those times we’re not going to be on the same page.  He says we can’t force him to sleep. No, but we can train him to.  How did we finally get him to sleep through the night? WE STOPPED GOING IN THERE AND LET HIM CRY IT OUT. How did we get him to stop waking 45 minutes after bedtime? WE STOPPED GOING IN THERE AND LET HIM CRY IT OUT. 

Of course, the problem with this now is that it’s likely he no longer has his sleep crutches (binky and blanky) in his crib, which makes it less likely he’s going to give up and go to sleep. So I’ve advocated going back in, putting his shit back in the crib, but not picking him up or giving him the reward of any interaction.  Last night, Miguel went up to do this, but didn’t come back down for 20 minutes. When he returned, he reported that Squidgey still had his bink and blank, but was “just sad.” So he held him.  So I guess until he gets as sick of it as I am and is ready to let him cry it out, Miguel will be vice president in charge of rocking his ass to sleep.  I hope to god we pass through this stage soon.


Applause July 17, 2009

Filed under: Schmooper — booksunread @ 12:02 pm

Squidgey is starting to make the mental connection between words and things/actions.  We are actually to the point of quasi-communication.  Prior to this, his only real response to attempts at conversation was to laugh his ass off when told “NO.”  He’s been doing that for weeks. Thinks “NO” is the funniest word in the English language.

He’s been kind of clapping on and off, but mostly in mimicking you, not in response to the word “clap.”  This weekend we were working on the use of a sippy cup (a whole ‘nother post about this kid and his aversion to liquid refreshment), and when I squealed “good job!” after a successful sip, he started applauding for himself!  Now if you tell him to clap, or compliment him “good boy!” or “good job!” he busts out with an ovation, wee little palms slapping together, eyes on you to make sure you’re getting this on your mental tape.


Clapping is serious business!

According to one of the handouts I have, by 12 months, he’s supposed to use 3-5 words consistently and intelligibly, imitate object names and animal noises and understand simple questions.  We are so not there yet. It’s still all babbling and testing out his sounds (now with short shrill shrieks when you are not paying enough attention to him).  And I’ve been pretty okay with that-minimal stress. I talk to him, read, I sound things out, repeat object names as we’re playing with/using them, etc.; he’ll get it when he gets it.

On Friday the eye doctor asked about this and I was like “nope, no real words yet.”  And he replied “not even ‘uh oh?’”  And I was thinking, where the fuck would he automatically learn the word “uh oh”? Yes, no, ball, book, bottle, milk, juice, for the love of god go to sleep, what is your major malfunction-all everyday words. But “uh oh”? Is that something that all parents say to their kids?  ‘Cuz I never say it.  I just don’t seem to have a lot of use for it.  If he knocks something off his tray to the floor (on purpose) the response is “stop that” not a singsongy “uh oh!”  If he tips over, I say “you’re okay” and quickly distract him with something else before he even realizes that might have hurt. 

Another new development this week is busting into real, fat, wet tears when he doesn’t get his way. It’s so pathetic, those watery, red-rimmed eyes. I’m hoping this new-found sensitivity is due to the virus he had this week and he’ll stop being all pathetic when he’s feeling better. However, I have a feeling it’s more of a product of the fact that he knows that he wants to communicate something to us, and is frustrated that we don’t get it.   Just wait until he realizes we get it, we are just declining to take his opinion under advisement!


It’s like he doesn’t know me at all July 10, 2009

Filed under: Getting my Martha On,Schmooper — booksunread @ 12:32 am

So Miguel and I were discussing plans for our NOT AT ALL getting out of hand Squidgey birthday party, when suddenly his face lit and he said, “Wanna get a piñata?”  [Little confession, I’ve always had a burning desire to have a birthday piñata (right up there with my weird obsession with having a name long enough to be shortened to a nickname), but my mom was sooo not the piñata party type.] I expressed disappointment that he hadn’t mentioned his piñata interest earlier as just last night I saw a perfectly matching one on the site where I had ordered the plates, but dismissed it as going overboard for a one year old who couldn’t even swing a stick.  Hey, but if Miguel was in…

Then I said, that’s alright, I can just order it tonight, we’ll pay more shipping than if we had ordered together, but oh well.  To which he said, “Or I can just go out and pick one up at the party store.”

Oh hellllls no, we are not having some random party store piñata that Miguel, he of the miami vice furniture up in here.  He would so come back with some random wrong colored wonderpets shit. If it doesn’t match the décor, it stays at the store!


Nope, Not Going Overboard-AT ALL! July 9, 2009

Filed under: Getting my Martha On,Schmooper — booksunread @ 12:39 pm

So Squidgey’s one year birthday is quickly approaching.  And originally, when people asked me what we were planning for his birthday, I answered, “I plan to give him a cupcake to smash and call it a day.”  We don’t have any family here, it’s not like he has a bunch of little one year old friends to invite to a party, and we don’t really have very many couple friends that have wee kidlets, so a party seemed like it would just be for us, not him and really, what was the point in that?

Also, I don’t know, I was raised with this attitude that to invite someone to an event was almost like putting someone out, or gift-grubbing, so you don’t invite the whole world, just close friends/family.  Like, you don’t invite your cousin whom you never speak to and lives 6 hours away to your bridal shower when you know there is no way in hell she’s going to travel in for it.  So you don’t invite mostly adults to a little kids b-day party.  And finally, I just think it is c-razy that the trend these days is to spend hundreds of dollars on favors, renting bouncies, dancing troupes and shit (I’m looking at you Tori Spelling), for a wee kid who is going to appreciate it about 10 dollars worth and would have been just as happy with a pinata made out of a cereal box.

But when I explained my no family, who wants to come to a kiddie’s 1st birthday party theory, everyone reacted with shock.  “I would come!” they exclaimed.  And also, Miguel really wanted to have one so here we are with a pancake party on the calendar for next Saturday.  We totally stole the pancake party idea from my SIL-good timing with Squidge’s naps, easy, low stress, can do a lot of it ahead of time, just a small gathering, nothing fancy.

But of course, I am mentally incapable of entertaining without getting my crazed Martha hat on.  No store bought invites for my kid; nay, I had to design something custom, a tradition I started with his birth announce and followed up with the Christmas card.  And once that was done, everything now had to coordinate.  And since it was a funky, custom design, it’s not like I could just run out and buy the Blue’s Clues party pack and call it a day. 

B-day blog

So as the party planning has gone on, it just keeps growing. The wee Martha in my brain keeps whispering ideas in my head. I’ve decided to make a cupcake-cake in the shape of # 1, and make cookies with colored m&ms that match the dots on the invite. (Which, did you know those fuckers are $5.99 at Michaels for a teeny bag and you can’t order less than 5 bags at $6.99 each PLUS shipping from m&  How is it I can get a bag 3 times as large for like 2.99 of regular mixed m&ms but sort them by color and they’re suddenly priced as if they were hand painted.  They should be cheaper, they can skip the whole step of mixing the colors together!  Somebody should come out with chocolate covered candy coated “celebration dots,” sell them at half the price and smoke m&ms. /end rant)

I only spent an hour and a half online last night trying to find funky decor cupcake wrappers that match the party colors. (and mistakenly found reusable fabric MAXI PADS in a trio CUPCAKE patterned fabrics-WTF!!!!!?)  Then was all, “oooh, I have those edible cake decorating markers, I bet I can polka dot plain wrappers,” for 2 dozen cupcakes, you know, in my FREE time. WTF is wrong with me?

THEN, this morning in the shower, I was thinking about the menu, which includes fruit salad, and I flashed back to this: and was like, I can TOTALLY do that, except carve out a #1. And then I slapped some sense into my self. (but I’m still kind of thinking about it…send help!)

Just now, on my way back from a bathroom break, I started ruminating on how we could turn the kiddie pool into some kind of game for the kids…maybe fill it with green and blue balloons and have them dive for prizes or something?

I need a Martha-intervention!!!


Note to Self July 1, 2009

Filed under: Schmooper — booksunread @ 2:32 pm

Stop reading things that say what children *should* be doing at x age.

Every child is different…every child is different…