Books Unread, Jokes Untold-the pursuit of life

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Crisis Averted…Well, one of them, anyway August 21, 2009

Filed under: Battle of the Scale — booksunread @ 2:52 pm

Miguel clarified when turning in the forms that I can run the 5K with stroller…they just didn’t put anything about it in the running section of the form because they didn’t think anyone would want to (you mean besides the people who did it last year and the year before? Okay then…).

So it’s back on and I still have Squidge to use my cover for sucking.  Because really? I am so not a runner.  I do not have long, lean, gazelle-like legs.  I was not built for speed or distance.  I very realistically expect to be smoked by every tall, tan, fit runner in the bunch (because aren’t they always?).  I don’t even like runners.  I scoff when I see them trotting along in the rain and the cold.  Why am I doing this again?

I’m in a bit of panic about my endurance and the 5 (!) weeks I have remaining to get it up.  I ran what Miguel purported to be a two mile route the other night and crapped out farther from home than I wanted to, maybe I thought 1.7 miles or so into it.  So then I hopped in the car and clocked it on my odometer to know exactly how much of the 2 miles I had done.  Miguel had it clocked WRONG and the whole thing was only 1.7 miles, so the part I completed was only 1.3.  I need to run almost three times that for the 5K. Which I know I don’t have be able to consistently run that amount, but I need to be close enough that I can push myself through the last extra half mile or so.  I’m almost 2 miles short as of right now.

I ran it again this morning, and managed the whole thing, so that’s something.  I don’t know why it was easier today. Maybe because I took a day off yesterday or because it was before it got too hot.  We’ll see.


Seriously? August 18, 2009

Filed under: Battle of the Scale — booksunread @ 7:40 pm

I am seriously annoyed right now. Miguel just called as he was filling out the application for his company’s 5K and apparently this year, the run is restricted to 16 and over.  And I was like, well, Squidge won’t actually be participating in the race, I’ll be pushing him in the stroller, so no problem.  But he goes on to read “Strollers and children under 16 are welcome to participate in the walk.”

And I said “what are we supposed to do, then?” And his reply was “you can do the walk.”  Um hell’s no, I am not doing the walk. I am training to do the run. You do the walk, you dicksmack.  So yeah, looks like we’re getting a sitter that morning. 

And at first I was kind of relieved, because it’s easier to run without the stroller.  But then I started thinking about it and that also means, it’s just me, running. Out there with all the real runners. So if I come in dead last (a very real possibility), it won’t be all “well, bless her heart pushing that thing the whole 3.2 miles.” It’ll be all “Well, she sucks. Why did she do the run?”

So now I’m back to pissed off. I mean WTF Miguel’s work? It’s a family fitness thing to encourage healthy habits, not the fucking Boston Marathon.  Who the fuck cares if someone else is jogging with a stroller, or if their 13 year old wants to challenge him/herself and try the run?  What is it hurting? 

So meh. Now I’m all ambivalent and pissed off about the whole thing and of course the forms are due TODAY because that is how Miguel rolls so I can’t even think it over some.


Gah! Gah! Gah! August 17, 2009

Filed under: Schmooper — booksunread @ 1:41 pm

Squidgey is starting to cut his molars.  And he is exploring this new phenomenon by GRINDING THEM TOGETHER.  This was my weekend: Squuuueaaaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkkk, cruuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnncccccccccchhhhhhh, kirik kirik, sccccccccrrrrrrrrrrrruuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnncccchhhhhhhhhhh, scccrrreeeachhh, snikt, snikt.
Like nails on a chalkboard, people…Thiiiis close to dropping him down a well, just to make it stop.


Will Run for Beer August 14, 2009

Filed under: Battle of the Scale — booksunread @ 1:34 pm

For years I have been adamant that I am not a runner, and in fact am fond of saying that I will only run if someone is chasing me…with a knife.  In the last several months, I’ve had to reverse myself and am actually gearing up to run a 5K next month.

Two years ago, Miguel’s company started sponsoring a family health 5K in the fall.  Since he’s a runner, he was interested in participating.  At that time, pre-Squidge, I was a pretty avid walker and covered about two miles or so with the dog on a regular basis.  However, I was unprepared for the sheer boredom that is a 3 point whatever mile forced death march through an uninteresting industrial area.  There was no dog wrangling or home design/landscaping evaluation to distract me, making that last extra mile sheer torture.  I actually jogged parts of it towards the end, just to get it over with.  (And still somehow only came in third for the women walkers…for which I got a prize which I kind of felt like I cheated to get since I’d run a bit, but whatever…).

Last year cemented my hatred of walking 5Ks.  Squidge was about 2 months old so I tossed him in the stroller and brought along the bjorn as a precaution.  Of course, once the race started, he did not want to be in the stroller and I had to strap him into the bjorn, which slowed my pace considerably.  And it took FOR.EVER. This time, I came in second to last, in front of a fat chick.

In March, there was a Shamrock Shuffle which Miguel did with friends of ours while I stayed home with Squidge.  It ended at an Irish pub with kegs and eggs and they had a blast hanging out there most of the afternoon.  I very much wanted to participate the next year, but didn’t think I could take doing the walk by myself, especially knowing everyone else had finished way ahead of me and was already yukking it up at the pub.

Around this same time, the weather was warming up and I was wanting to get in more outside exercise, but hated to trap Squidge in the stroller every afternoon for the 45 mins to an hour it takes to cover the two mileish circuit.  The only solution to both problems was to bite the bullet, get a jogging stroller and get in a shorter, more intense workout while also getting in shape to run, not walk, the next 5K.

Like everything else exercise related, I’ve gone in fits and starts, so I’m still not ready for the 5K.  At one point, I was up to running two miles, but since slacking off for a few weeks, I’ve only worked my way back up to 1.5 miles.  And boy, do I not enjoy it, like, at all.  There is satisfaction in it, definitely-when I realize that I’m a mile into it and my breathing is steady and my cardio endurance has improved so much from those early runs where I could barely make an 1/8 mile without panting uncontrollably, throat and lungs screaming.  But really, the only thing that is keeping me going is knowing that there will be beer at the finish line…


Reading Rainbow August 11, 2009

Filed under: Schmooper — booksunread @ 1:27 pm

We’ve finally reached the books are for reading, not for chewing, stage.  Like a mean mommy, I have been keeping Squidge’s books in the top bins of his toy shelf. I take them down when we read them, then put them right back.  I don’t want them all dog eared and gnawed up.  Someone actually asked if the one book that he did have prolonged access to (Miguel’s fault) had been set upon by the dog.  So I didn’t want a whole shelf of tattered books. (Okay, so between this and the missing toy pieces, maybe I AM Mommy Dearest. Oh. Well. Is it a crime to want to keep things nice?)

Anywho, he is tall enough and coordinated enough now to pull himself up on tiptoe and pluck the books out.  Which is hilarious to watch – he wobbles on his toes, then drops to his butt as the book pops free.  He’s bonked himself on the head a couple of times so he scrunches up his face in a pre-emptive flinch each time he feels the book starting to come loose.

Except for touch and feel farm animals (which is only 5 animals long), he hasn’t had much of an attention span for reading until now.  Usually after the first few pages, he’s grabbing the book out of my hands for a taste.  But now he is obsessed with the Wonder Pets board book.  His new trick is to give it to me, plopping himself down in front of me and waiting for me to read it. He is so cute sitting there waiting patiently with his little hands perched on his knees.  He gets quite testy if I pretend like I don’t know what he wants. 

After we get done rescuing the penguin, elephant, skunk, bullfrog, kangaroo, sheep, chimp, fish, and owl and I return the book to him, he promptly tosses it back in my lap for another go. I could read that thing with my eyes closed now.  And it’s only this book, he has zero interest in the 30 other colorful books on his shelf.  I have to distract him with something shiny and quickly hide it after the 10th reading or so.  Then we can move on the play with or read something else.

In other new tricks, he balanced for approximately 1.2 seconds unassisted yesterday.  He’s also kicking out on of his legs as he’s crawling.  He’ll crawl, crawl, crawl, weird straight leg hobble step; crawl, crawl, crawl, weird straight leg hobble step…I don’t know if that is a precursor to trying to stand up or his knee gets sore on the hardwood or what.  No idea.  I guess we’ll just wait and see which trick is next.


Recommitment August 10, 2009

Filed under: Battle of the Scale — booksunread @ 4:55 pm

So this weekend I was sitting in a kitchen chair feeding Squidge, and I looked down at one point and realized in horror that I have an actual fat roll, practically sitting in my lap.  There is no denying that this is not just some gentle muffin top, or post baby pooch, it is a real, honest to god lump of what the experts call “deep abdominal fat.”  The kind that leads to diabetes and other metabolic problems.

So it’s time to get serious about losing weight and toning up my body.  While I have gone through periods of watching my diet and exercising and losing some weight, I’ve never really sustained the frequency or intensity needed to say I had a really toned, in shape, “hard body.”  And at the end of the month, I will be schmirty schmore (THIRTY FOUR!-how the fuck did that happen?!?).  I’m not getting any younger and the longer I put it off the harder it will be to take off.

So yeah, resurrecting the food log and exercise.  I need to go back to eating better, keeping my carb and sweet teeth at bay.  It has been easy to let this slide as I spend so much time focusing on Squidge’s eating.  I prep (wash, peel, chop, cook, mash, freeze, cleanup) at least 2 batches of food for him a week.  Then on a daily basis, there’s soy formula to be mixed; lunch and snacks to be defrosted and/or packed for the sitters; the resulting dishes put in the dishwasher; nipples and sippy cups to be washed and reassembled; hands, faces and trays to be wiped clean, etc.  By the time that is all done, the motivation to make my own food is pretty low.  It’s all about what can be made and eaten with the minimum time and mess possible.

But, that is clearly not working for me.  I’ve been relying on the welbutrin to at least keep my weight stable, but last week I pulled a pair of size schmelve work pants from storage because they were more “comfortable.”  Wake up call! They’re more comfortable because I’m getting too fat for the 10s!  So, more fresh, low fat food, no more ice cream and other treats.  There is no better time to do this than now when there is so much fresh produce available.  I’ve made a couple monster batches of gazpacho which will probably be a main staple, along with plain baked chicken strips I can cook in big batches and just pull out of the freezer a couple at a time. 

Of course, watching what I eat alone is not going to help me lose weight.  I have been exercising in fits and starts, but I need to make sure I do cardio and strength every day that I can, no excuses.  By that I mean every day of the week, unless there is some sort of engagement/commitment to others that makes it impractical.  Not skipping just because it’s Monday and I’m tired or it’s Friday and I want to have a few beers or its raining or I have work to do at home.  Squidge comes first, when he’s asleep, working out comes first, everything else-chores, bills, laundry, work, reading, tv, etc. comes after-even if it means I have to stay up later.

Golly, reading over this it all sounds so cliché, so many pledges I and other people who struggle with their weight have made before.  So, um, hopefully posting this here in public will shame me into actually following through and meaning it this time.


I invented a new kind of yoga August 9, 2009

Filed under: Battle of the Scale,Schmooper — booksunread @ 8:02 pm

I call it, “Flex, Flow, & Find Shit!”

So I was supposed to go to Yoga this afternoon, but Squidgey’s nap/bedtime problems continue and an hour and 15 minutes after I put him down, he was still at it.  Miguel had finally agreed to stop giving in and rocking him, but I didn’t trust him not to go in there after I left the house.  Plus, after a cry it out session winds down, I like to go in there and confirm that Squidgey’s still breathing and that I haven’t killed my child with sheer meanness.

So I decided to do a free Exercise on Demand yoga session courtesy of the cable box.  As I was resting with my face pressed against the floor in child’s pose, what did I spy in the way back corner underneath the entertainment center?  The pink stacking cup! YEAH! The set is now complete again and I can now sleep at night.

Then, I turned my head the other way and saw something green and blue winking at me from underneath the couch.  It was a teether that has been MIA for months. All in all, a pretty productive workout!