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Recommitment August 10, 2009

Filed under: Battle of the Scale — booksunread @ 4:55 pm

So this weekend I was sitting in a kitchen chair feeding Squidge, and I looked down at one point and realized in horror that I have an actual fat roll, practically sitting in my lap.  There is no denying that this is not just some gentle muffin top, or post baby pooch, it is a real, honest to god lump of what the experts call “deep abdominal fat.”  The kind that leads to diabetes and other metabolic problems.

So it’s time to get serious about losing weight and toning up my body.  While I have gone through periods of watching my diet and exercising and losing some weight, I’ve never really sustained the frequency or intensity needed to say I had a really toned, in shape, “hard body.”  And at the end of the month, I will be schmirty schmore (THIRTY FOUR!-how the fuck did that happen?!?).  I’m not getting any younger and the longer I put it off the harder it will be to take off.

So yeah, resurrecting the food log and exercise.  I need to go back to eating better, keeping my carb and sweet teeth at bay.  It has been easy to let this slide as I spend so much time focusing on Squidge’s eating.  I prep (wash, peel, chop, cook, mash, freeze, cleanup) at least 2 batches of food for him a week.  Then on a daily basis, there’s soy formula to be mixed; lunch and snacks to be defrosted and/or packed for the sitters; the resulting dishes put in the dishwasher; nipples and sippy cups to be washed and reassembled; hands, faces and trays to be wiped clean, etc.  By the time that is all done, the motivation to make my own food is pretty low.  It’s all about what can be made and eaten with the minimum time and mess possible.

But, that is clearly not working for me.  I’ve been relying on the welbutrin to at least keep my weight stable, but last week I pulled a pair of size schmelve work pants from storage because they were more “comfortable.”  Wake up call! They’re more comfortable because I’m getting too fat for the 10s!  So, more fresh, low fat food, no more ice cream and other treats.  There is no better time to do this than now when there is so much fresh produce available.  I’ve made a couple monster batches of gazpacho which will probably be a main staple, along with plain baked chicken strips I can cook in big batches and just pull out of the freezer a couple at a time. 

Of course, watching what I eat alone is not going to help me lose weight.  I have been exercising in fits and starts, but I need to make sure I do cardio and strength every day that I can, no excuses.  By that I mean every day of the week, unless there is some sort of engagement/commitment to others that makes it impractical.  Not skipping just because it’s Monday and I’m tired or it’s Friday and I want to have a few beers or its raining or I have work to do at home.  Squidge comes first, when he’s asleep, working out comes first, everything else-chores, bills, laundry, work, reading, tv, etc. comes after-even if it means I have to stay up later.

Golly, reading over this it all sounds so cliché, so many pledges I and other people who struggle with their weight have made before.  So, um, hopefully posting this here in public will shame me into actually following through and meaning it this time.

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