Books Unread, Jokes Untold-the pursuit of life

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Well, Nuts March 22, 2010

Filed under: Schmooper — booksunread @ 12:49 pm

We saw the pediatric urologist and while he was iffy about the testicle, he was really more concerned about the size of Squidgey’s opening.  Apparently, the foreskin is supposed to protect the delicate skin on the tip of the penis, and when you circumcise, that sensitive skin can get inflamed and kind of grow back together.

So, Squidgey is nothing if not sensitive and prone to any and all minor problems and his opening is about 60% closed.  It’s called meteal stenosis.  The doctor was not all that concerned about it, he wanted to keep an eye on it and then see how he does once he is potty trained.  As long as he wasn’t having any trouble emptying his bladder or any problems with direction (which, I’m sorry, if that’s a symptom, then ALL men must have this problem), then it could be left alone. 

However, Miguel and I feel like 40% functionality is not a best case scenario outcome.  I mean, let’s face it, little boys all pee together.  And little kids are mean. I don’t want my kid nicknamed “dribbles” because he is trying to squeeze out his stream through a 40% hole.  So we figured we’d get it fixed now rather than later. 

Trust me, you don’t want to know the details of how they fix it.  I actually was telling a friend about it and her nephew had the same surgery (it’s called a meteal plasty).  So I talked to her SIL and she said it really wasn’t too bad recovery-wise and didn’t seem to bother him too much.

On the testicle, again, it’s juusssst slightly wonky. It’s not technically undescended, it’s “retractile.”  Which means it can come down, if coaxed, but the muscle is really tight so it pops back up in to his abdomen and stays up there most of the time.  Which in the long run can cause problems with fertility and makes guys more prone to tumors. 

It’s one of those things that’s hard to tell, because naturally, when you’re trying to evaluate it, poking around at his junk in the cold air, their instinct is to hide. So it’s hard to say what they’re doing the rest of the time when he’s just hanging out.  I took a warm bath with him last night in our big tub, which is soo not something we do normally-I am not a co-bather.  But I took it for the team to see what his little nut does when warm and relaxed and I had a hard time finding the one, so I think we will probably get it fixed at the same time.

So hopefully, this will be the last medical issue we have to deal with…maybe I should stop saying that, I seem to be jinxing us.


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