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Pretty Sure October 25, 2010

Filed under: Daily Grind — booksunread @ 1:55 am

It’s a sign that I should just shut down and go to bed if I’m tearing up at a Nascar crash on Under Cover Boss.  Was gone in London all last week.  Catching up on 250+ e-mails when I picked up a voicemail from someone at one of my clients, wanting to talk to me about my main client contact, who I know is going through radiation/chemo.  It didn’t sound good.

I feel so overwhelmed with the work waiting for me when I get back that I feel teary at the thought of bad news.  And then I feel even worse thinking that whatever it means to me, I can’t even imagine what it must mean for her.


Going to Pot October 13, 2010

Filed under: Schmooper — booksunread @ 1:46 pm

Theoretically, it sounded like a good idea: if I found a reasonable fare deal, I would bring Squidgey with me on a weekend trip home next month.  I think deep down I didn’t think I would find low enough priced direct tickets to make it a reality.  And then I couldn’t even really find decent airfare (less than $300) for myself.  So I decided to see what I could get with my mileage.  Turns out I can fly BOTH of us with my miles for $150 round trip.  So: Yay! 

Except… at that time we will be approximately 3 weeks into toilet training.  The flight is short-probably an hour and half on the plane from boarding to deplaning, so I’m not so worried about that.  But then you add in all the time around it-travel time to the airport, time hanging around the airport, then the drive to my parents house, and that’s a lot of public bathroom potty breaks we’re going to need.

For reasons I cannot explain, I am very, very stressed out about the impending potty training.  I fully believe that a kid Squidgey’s age (or even younger) is capable of being potty trained.  I don’t believe in letting the child decide when he’s ready.  He’s the kid, I’m the parent, it’s not up to him; it’s up to me to set up expectations for behavior, including toileting behavior. I really don’t think it causes irreparable psychological damage to insist he not crap his pants if he is capable of not doing so.  I think its bullshit for your kid to be three and not potty trained, so I want to get him trained.  My nephew was well past three before he deigned to pee on the potty.  And then for another four months, would REQUEST a pull up so he could take a shit.  That is wrong on so, so many levels. 

On the other hand, I feel like Squidgey currently just has absolutely no awareness of his bodily functions-that he has any control over them or anything to do with them.  If he was hiding in the corner to poop or announcing that he peed I’d be like, okay no excuse for you not to do that on the potty.  But I guess that’s the point of the training-to create that awareness/association.  We’ve sat on the potty a few times with no results, and we’ve talked about it quite a bit as we’ve changed diapers…about being a big boy and going poop on the potty (to which he replies “that sows…that sows goo!” Sounds good to me too, kid!).

Now we need to jump in and do it for real. I’m not using pull ups as I think they’re just glorified diapers.  We will be going to cotton training pants (the cutest wee little boy briefs with extra padding in the crotch), topped with rubber pants to contain spillover.  We will be making mandatory trips to the potty every 45 mins. There will be accidents, there will be a lot of laundry, but eventually, we will get there (right?).  His sitter is on completely on board.  The only reason we haven’t started yet is because I’m going to be out of town all of next week, which is going to be enough of a monkey wrench in his routine. 

So yeah, I talk a good game, but inside, I have a little roiling ball of fear in my tummy.  I guess my trepidation is that Squidgey, like he has done with so many of my firmly held parenting beliefs forged of opinion rather experience, will have his own mind made up about it.  That he will be insanely stubborn and refuse to do it.  That we are looking at months and months of soiled undies and taking 5 spare outfits with me wherever I go. 

In preparation, I’ve been on the hunt for a pile of cheap pants to keep in the diaper bag, training underwear (which are very hard to find in the pull-up infested stores), and the perfect potty seat.  I originally wanted to use the type that fits over the toilet (why go from wiping shit off someone’s ball sack to wiping it out of a potty, when there’s a perfectly good toilet right there?)  But the sitter made the excellent point that you can’t sit him up on the toilet and then walk away (not that I plan to completely abandon him, but I’m told there will be a lot of waiting so it’d be nice to be able to step away for a minute or two and at a time).  Additionally, we’ve been using one of the seats for our few trial runs and none of them seem to have an adequate shield in front.  Squidgey seems to be pointing dead ahead instead of down.  And with his surgery and being prone to adhesions with his circ, he’s none too appreciative of you poking at his penis to point it down. 

So a dedicated potty chair it is…except I want one for upstairs and one for downstairs and therefore I don’t want to spend a lot of money on the musical, light up, flushing, reward dispensing, construction vehicle-shaped throne.  Back when Kate Goesslin was just an understandably overwhelmed average mother of 6 toddlers, rather than a shrieking entitled harpy, she trained her sextuplets using these one piece molded plastic dealies.  She had like 4 of them in every room and just stacked them up and threw them in the car to go somewhere.  That’s what I want. But I can’t find them anywhere.  The closet I can find is the Baby Bjorn simple potty but even that ($15) is more than I want to spend when multiplied by two.  I’m going to check one more place-and then I guess surrender to the simple potty. 

See? So much thought and effort and thought and worry and pondering and comparison shopping, etc., going in to this.  Either it’s going to end up being a complete piece of cake or a total nightmare.


Downward Spiral October 4, 2010

Filed under: Battle of the Scale,Daily Grind — booksunread @ 12:14 pm

I have been so, so bad lately.  I’ve put 5 pounds back on.  I probably ran 4 times the entire month of September. I didn’t get on my bike once.  I have been eating like a hog.

We went away for a weekend at the beginning of the month and it was all downhill from there. I traveled for work and combined it with a weekend visit to see a friend.  I came back to a computer virus and no IT support, essentially losing 3 mornings of work in the office trying to fix it myself.  I spent afternoons trying to get what I could get done at home before picking up Squidgey. IT finally came in to fix my computer Thursday.  I had to take off Friday because Squidgey’s sitter was closed.  I am so far behind I feel like I’m never going to catch up.  In two weeks, I’ll be away from my desk for another week, going for training in the UK.  So even if I do get caught up, I will be purely fucked again before the month is out.

So when facing several hours each evening in front of the computer, I find it hard to motivate myself to spend an hour of it working out and showering after Squidgey goes to bed.  It’d be nice if we could use our afternoons together to go for runs and to the park but we went from 95 degrees where it was too hot to cold and rainy. What the fuck, fall?  Could we get some 75 and sunny days?  I haven’t even had a chance to transition from sleeveless to short sleeves.  All of my long sleeves are crammed into bins in the basement, a wrinkled mess.

Every day I tell myself I’m going to get that workout in, I’m going to eat well.  And every night I find myself stuck in front of the computer doing tedious shit, looking for a snack to break up the monotony.  I’m tired. I’m behind. My pants are tight.  Monday sucks.