A while ago, Groupon had a coupon for a fresh food delivery service. It was something I looked at last spring but couldn’t justify the cost on. I went with the organic produce delivery twice a month as a compromise. That lasted until about mid-July. Long enough for me to conclude that organic was code for really fucking dirty and infested with bugs. I was also having a hard time finishing all the produce and tossing more than I would have liked. Which probably means I wasn’t eating enough fresh produce. It was good in the fact that it brought me things I wouldn’t necessarily think to pick out in the grocery store, but I could customize the bin to take out stuff I really didn’t like. But in the end the fruit flies buzzing around my kitchen and the waste got to me and I cancelled it.
So anyway, this food delivery Groupon, let’s call it Schmeattle Schmuttons Healthy Eating, was for 3 days of 3 squares, all portion and calorie controlled. When I was picturing a fresh food delivery, I was imagining some guy rolling up to my door with an insulated pizza bag and unloading beautifully prepared ahi tuna sashimi and crisp green salads. So I was a bit taken aback when I called in to redeem the Groupon and was routed to Michigan and told my food would be delivered via UPS to Ohio.
The box arrived last Wednesday afternoon and from the time I first cracked open the box, I was already convinced I could not do this weekly. There was so much waste in the packaging that would be going directly in a landfill-two large gel icepacks filled with god knows what and silver bubble padding insulating the entire box. Each meal was also packaged in a fairly large plastic tray, vacuum sealed with a label on the top explaining which day and which meal it was meant for. I’m no crunchy granola, but imagining all that plastic and non biodegradable stuff being tossed out every week was a big turn off.
Day one started out eh on the breakfast. A pumpkin seed flax cereal with a piece of fruit, a plum. The cereal was good, but probably no different than what I could get a whole box of much more cost effectively from the organic section of any grocery store. The plum was so bitter it went into the trash after two bites. Lunch was tomato mozzarella pasta with turkey sausage, accompanied by a side of plain brussel sprouts. The pasta was fine in taste and portion size. The brussel sprouts (which I love when prepared correctly) were absolutely murdered. So over-cooked that they were a sour olive green mush. Also in the trash can. Dinner was pasta again. This time egg noodles with my least favorite vegetable, peas, and my least favorite garnish, red pepper, in a cream sauce. The sauce was too thick so the pasta ended up dry and had a weird aftertaste. I couldn’t even finish it.
On Day two, when faced with a roasted veggie wrap (eh, not a fan of roasted veggies as it inevitably includes the aforementioned dreaded peppers and also a wrap of cold slimy charred vegetables prepared at least two days ago=soggy!), with a side of corn relish/salsa…also bleh, I just couldn’t do it. The six remaining meals went right in the trash.
Despite how this sounds, I’m not a terrible picky eater. I swear I like a wide variety of meats, vegetables and cuisines. It’s like this meal delivery was custom selected to ping all my food dislikes. So big fat fail on that. Back to frozen meals. With summer approaching, I’m also considering giving the produce bin another try. There’s a slightly smaller bin that I can do, if I top it off with $10 in additional organic groceries each delivery.
You know what I need? A personal chef to keep me stocked with an array of fresh, beautifully prepared, flavorful, healthy meals. That’s not too much to ask, is it?