Books Unread, Jokes Untold-the pursuit of life

Just another weblog

Balance September 2, 2010

Filed under: 15 Tons,Battle of the Scale,Daily Grind — booksunread @ 2:31 pm

I am convinced that my ass is getting flat from the seven hours a day I sit at my desk staring at the computer.  It is pretty much straight, unrelieved sitting. I may get up to go to the bathroom or break room, but that’s about it. I usually eat lunch at my desk and don’t have meetings or people I have to wander off and go see in the office. So I sit.

I have a hard time with ergonomics/posture/carpal tunnel/tendonitis/pinched nerves/what have you.  I am almost always uncomfortable shortly after sitting down.  Part of the ass-flattening is I think after 5 years, I’ve pretty much smooshed out any padding that was in the seat.  I broke down and ordered one of these today (free shipping with Amazon Prime trial!):

I’m hoping it will help me maintain better posture all around and stem the tide of ass compression.  I mean, I’m not doing all this working out to have a misshapen ass. But I’m certainly sitting here for exponentially more hours than I am working out daily, so of course flat is winning.

My coworkers will probably mock me, but too bad. I’m tired of being in pain and uncomfortable.  And also I’d like a shapely ass.  None of my coworkers seems in any way concerned for the shape of their ass, if you know what I mean.  They mocked my snuggie too, but I know they’re all secretly jealous as they sit in their offices shivering and covered in goose bumps.


Toby February 16, 2009

Filed under: 15 Tons,Schmooper — booksunread @ 12:54 pm

Remember that episode of Friends, where one of Chandler’s coworkers has been calling him “Toby” for the last 5 years because he didn’t correct the guy the first time it happened and now it’s just awkward?  We’ve got a bit of that situation going on in my office with Squidgey’s name. 

I work in an extremely small office, 12 people, and one is an executive of one of our divions-a pretty high ranking position, although I in no way report to him. He is a nice guy, and as such always inquires as to how Squidgey is doing.  Except he calls him “Conner.” Which is not his name. Right first and last letters, but wrong middle. I corrected him the first couple times it happened, but then it happened when we were all out to lunch and I didn’t want to embarrass him in front of everybody.  I did make it a point, though, to refer to Squidge by his correct name a couple times during the rest of the conversation.  He didn’t pick it up, and the Connering has continued.

Now it’s gone on so long it would be totally awkward if I corrected him. Like, “Why have you been letting me call him Conner all this time, why didn’t you correct me before now?”  So, um, Conner it is then.


No More Visits to the Big House October 14, 2008

Filed under: 15 Tons — booksunread @ 4:12 pm

Look! A new post! That has nothing to do with babies!

At my office building, we share the floor with a big home health care company, and there is one employee there who must spend 80% of her working hours pacing the halls on her cell phone.  And she is always talking full volume about some gruesomely personal redneck drama of the day.

She reminds me of Kate Jackson, when she starred in a cheesy Lifetime movie called Empty Cradle as a crazy white trash nurse who steals a baby.  The fact that this woman wears scrubs every day only reinforces the image (I still can’t figure out why the employees who seem to be full-time office workers at this company still wear scrubs to work…).

Today, as I left for a doctor’s appointment, I got trapped behind her as she moseyed down the middle of the hallway yapping.  When I returned an hour and half later, she was STILL out there.  As I passed, I heard her say “Well, I don’t care, I’m not going to visit him behind bars anymore…”


Technical Difficulties October 9, 2007

Filed under: 15 Tons — booksunread @ 1:13 pm

Man, we are off to crap start to this week.  My new computer arrived last week (after much ridiculousness with FedEx all “We don’t have your suite number.” “Okay, it’s …”  “No, YOU can’t give us your suite number, you must call Hewlett Packard and have them give it us.”  “ohkay…”  Ring , Ring “HP customer service, this is um, Joe, I am totally NOT in India right now. No we can’t change it in the system now that it’s on the truck, no we can’t call FedEx for you, how about you go to your local FedEx location and hang out there and see what happens…”).  Anyway, we all know by now that new technology and the curmudgeonly old lady inside me do not get along.  So I let it sit all week before tackling the setup late Friday afternoon. I gave myself an hour and half before quitting time to get it set up.  So not even close.
I got it all out of the box and plugged all the bits and pieces in the right places, which I am quite proud of, thank you very much.  Then I called in IT to do all the computery loady thingies taking off the suck Vista and replacing it with the OEM version of XP we bought instead.  And because that screwed up all the drivers and stuff and HP doesn’t give you software and system recovery back ups on CD (a fact which took IT a long time to accept, rather than his preferred hypothesis that I had thrown them out with the box), it took all freaking morning to get set up. 

Meanwhile, I finally got fed up and hooked up my old laptop and docking station in the empty office next door (yes, empty, as in there is no new employee in there, we’ll get to that clusterfuck next).  And then, the gd mouse won’t work anymore on my docking station, ARG! So I got approximately zero work done yesterday.  Now I am trying to get everything all set up back to the way it was before with all the toolbars and display settings and programs and whichimawhosits I had before.  It did not help that IT would do like 2% of the job and then skip off.  The rest of the afternoon went something like this:

Beep: Yeah, hi, can you set up my e-mail accounts?

20 minutes later

Beep: Yeah, hi, can you map my network drives?

20 minutes later

Beep: Yeah, can I have permissions so I can load the rest of my software? Thanks.


I still don’t have sound, IM is the weird version that gives you credit card fraud advice at the start of every convo and won’t let you post a cute picture and I can’t uninstall and reinstall it, and my Outlook interface is making me crosseyed because the folder list is so small and I can’t figure out how to get the little thing showing your calendar and shit to display. Sigh.

Last Monday, my new hire was due to start.  After 6 months of searching, testing, interviewing and many disappointments, we finally settled on a candidate we thought would do a good job for us.  I scheduled him to start about a week and half after he accepted our offer, on the first of the month.  That morning, at 7:30 my phone rang, and I could see his number on the caller ID.  I thought, please, please let him be having car trouble, or sick, or lost or not able to come in today but will start tomorrow.  Any of those things would have been preferable to what actually happened.  He was calling to tell me that he had another offer come in late Friday afternoon, and after much agonizing he was going to take it because it was a more creative position that he felt was a better fit.

I couldn’t even get very  worked up at this point, honestly.  I think I might have laughed a little. I have been frustrated at every turn during this hiring process because of my company’s hiring practices.  I’ve had to turn down several well qualified candidates that would have worked well, because of largely irrelevant criteria determined by the powers that be. I’ve lost candidates to other offers because of heel dragging outside of my control.  I am on my last nerve.  It took me 8 months and 3 rounds of recruiting to fill this position last time.  I’m on track to beat that record this time.  I decided to only work with recruiters this time around.  I talked to a good half dozen of them last week.  I’ve gotten ZERO resumes so far.


Here We Go Again September 19, 2007

Filed under: 15 Tons,?Baby? — booksunread @ 12:07 pm

I started my chlomid for IUI cycle #2 yesterday.  A week from Thursday (day 12), I will have the ultrasound to see what my follicles are doing; assuming all is good, the IUI will be the following Saturday. Lucky Miguel; no time off work to whack, that should make him happy.  I feel cautiously optimistic about this cycle; the doctor is much more reassuring, Miguel is taking better care of himself and I’m doing everything I can with the acupuncture.

The second acupuncture session was not as relaxing as the first…I even brought soothing music to block out the ambient noise, but I never did doze off or fully relax.  For starters, my left (and only the left) earbud kept sliding out for no g.d. good reason except that earbuds suck a fatty.  And then it was that same frustrating cycle of when you’re trying to fall asleep at night when you know you have to be up early, but the more you will yourself to go to sleep, the more you can’t help the panicked, “oh my god, 6 more hours to sleep! Go to sleep! Oh my god, 5 hours, 39 minutes more to sleep! I have got to fall asleep!” spiral of doom. I think I shouldn’t have had a caffeinated soda that afternoon.  I’ll give it another shot this week, and see how I feel after.

In work news, I finally have an offer out to a new assistant.  I’m supposed to hear today if he accepts our offer.  I really hope he does.  I’ve been hiring to fill this position since March. I’ve been through two rounds of applicants, and this is it from this round.  I do not want to have to repost the job again.  For starters, thinking about the flood of illiterate, ridiculous applications I’ll have to wade through makes me want to cry.  Secondly, I don’t want to give the ex-assistant the satisfaction of knowing that we still haven’t filled her position.  So, fingers crossed. 

In life news, Miguel and I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary last weekend. Our present to ourselves was a driver for the night to take us downtown to Mortons.  We had an excellent dinner and then strolled around downtown, popping in and out of various bars until our driver came to pick us up.  Judging by the haphazard trail of clothes, shoes and jewelry strewn all over the bedroom (because we were drunk, not ripping each others clothes off, pervs!), we had a lot a fun.